Grapes, ears, noise makers, & hearing things are all names given to hearing aides by our four year old son. Some of you may know but for those of you who don’t, Mr Nomad is a little hard of hearing. Who would have thought that playing for years in a rock band is not only bad for your health but also damages your hearing.

He wears teeny tiny hearing aides, & these mentioned hearing aides require batteries…….teeny tiny batteries. And to tell you the truth, I’m amazed that the below mentioned events haven’t happened earlier in our quest to be the perfect parents.

I woke on Saturday morning smiling, it doesn’t happen very often when you have a toddler who’s never really slept. Tonight was going to be a night to celebrate. We were off to celebrate our friends wedding, something we’d been looking forward to for a LONG time.

Will & I were playing silly nothings, having a blast running around the house. Isla was grumpy & screaming her head off so I decided to feed her. I could hear Will in the pantry while I was stuck on the couch with Isla. I’ve been teaching Will to help himself to some snacks lately & thought nothing of it.

About an hour later I came across an opened packet of these above mentioned teeny tiny batteries, & there was only one left in the packet. Straight away I asked the most likely culprit where the missing batteries were. And with as much conviction as Lance Armstrong he said “Isla put a battery in her mouth & swallowed it”. And for the next forty minutes I summoned my inner Oprah in the hope that eventually my little Lance Armstrong would tell the truth.

He didn’t.

So off we went to the ER, embarrassed, worried, & dissapointed. He stuck with his story the whole time we were there, even when I told him they may have to cut his tummy open to see what was inside – bad parenting, I know. Both children had their chest & tummies x-rayed, just in case. Those teeny tinny batteries can cause a lot of irreversible damage to a child.

As it turned out it was just a big fib being told by our little Lance Armstrong. Both tummies were clear of any batteries & foreign objects. We were in & out of the hospital in forty five minutes. The staff were out of this world, & while I do value the level of care given I sure hope that we don’t have to head back anytime soon.

Needless to say the dreaded teeny tiny batteries will no longer be living in the pantry.